안녕하세요, 여러분! (Hello, everyone!) I'm Sol from My Korean Lesson! As some of you already know, I'm working as a Korean tutor in the U.S. One of my students will visit Korea soon, and he wanted to know the important manners he must follow during his visit. I thought it could be good material to share with everyone, so I'm posting this today.
Due to Confucianism's long history, Koreans have many rules to follow in society. Age is one of the most important factors in Korean manners. Also, social status or relationships are important matters too. Being polite to those social superiors is very important in both talking and behaving wise.
Greetings
Usually, you can nod your head slightly when you greet. If you want to be more polite, you can lower your upper body more. If you greet your mother-in-law, for example, you'd better fold your body almost 90 degrees. Also, if you are a younger person, you are supposed to greet first when you see superiors. Don't make your boss greet you first.
When you see a superior and nod, the superior may reach for a handshake. When he or she offers handshaking, you will hold his or her hand with your two hands and still nod your head. You are not allowed to offer your hand first!
When you greet your friends or younger people, you can just wave. No need for polite bowing! (See? Age is a very important key to deciding whether to be polite or not!) Those nodding or waving are all applied when you say goodbye as well. If you want to know Korean hello and goodbye expressions, please click here to check out my other post.
Refusal out of courtesy
Have you ever watched the Canadian show "Kim's Convenience"? It's a show about Korean immigrants running a convenience store in Toronto. In the show, there is a scene where Mrs. Kim gets mad at her son's Canadian girlfriend because she didn't offer her three times. In Korea, refusing something out of courtesy is quite common and deeply ingrained.
If you offer someone something, maybe like a gift, he or she may refuse to accept it. It does not necessarily mean they don't want it. It is just a courtesy thing. People will reject for the first couple of times as a manner. So, please offer them multiple times, even if they deny it.
When someone offers you something, even if you desire it, try declining it once or twice. You can politely say "괜찮아요. (It's okay.)" or "아니에요. (No.)" before eventually accepting their second or third offer. This may seem confusing, but it is a cultural practice that embodies the values of humility and thoughtfulness.
Gestures
Use both hands
Make sure to always use both hands when giving something to others, and when receiving something as well. The only exception is when giving or receiving from younger people. It's best to use both hands consistently for safety.
Use a palm
Don't point at someone using your finger. When you have to point a superior use a palm instead. One finger-pointing is considered as a rude behavior. When you show a direction or point a thing for a superior is the same. You have to use your palm.
No shoes!
You must take off your shoes when you visit a house. No Koreans wear shoes inside of a residence! This rule includes a Buddhist temple, a guest house, or a shared accommodation. You can wear indoor slippers or house shoes. But do not walk around in the same shoes you wore outside!
No tip culture
Guess what! There is no tip culture in Korea. (I really miss this part!) The price you see from the menu board is the price you will pay at the end! It already includes tax and service fees, so you don't have to pay extra tips!
Also, there is a controversy going on that getting tips may be illegal due to the transparency of prices. So, even if you want to pay tips, people may refuse it. Refusing your tips is not an act of disrespect!
In public transportation
Korean public transportation system is well developed! Especially if you travel to big cities like Seoul, you don't need to rent a car at all! Buses and subways are well connected like a spider web. There is one thing you have to be careful about when you use public transportation.
Special seats
There are special seats designated for the elderly, disabled, and pregnant women on public transportation. Those seats are usually markered yellow or pink. Usually, yellow seats are for elderly or disabled people. Pink seats are for pregnant women.
In a bus, they are located in the first few rows. In a subway, the end seats of each carriage will have these special seats. So, it will be good to avoid sitting in those priority seats. People may sit, but they should give up when someone who fits the criteria boards the transportation.
Also, yielding your seat is a very polite thing to do. When a bus or subway is full, you may see an elderly don't have a seat. If you are sitting, it can be nice to offer them your seat. He or she may refuse out of courtesy but try to offer them at least twice.
General manners
Here are some more general manners in public transportation.
1. When you wait in a line to board, stay in a line and wait your turn. Do not cut in the line.
2. It is considered rude to talk loudly in public places. Please keep it quiet.
3. If you listen to your music, always wear a headset or earbuds to not interrupt others.
4. Eating and drinking are generally not recommended.
Wrap-up: Basic Korean manners
You've read some basic Korean manners. People will understand a foreigner's small mistakes, but they will definitely appreciate it if you try to follow Korean manners. If you try to be polite and use some Korean basic expressions like "안녕하세요?" will leave a good impression on you. So why not try? In the next post, I'll explain the table etiquette of Korea.
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